One of my biggest fears, since we moved abroad, has been the possibility that my children might miss out on opportunities or important situations due to my lack of understanding of the different systems and bureaucratic processes in the countries we have lived in. It is something that has always weighed heavily on me – the fear of being the cause of something that could potentially harm them. It is a thought that has haunted me from the very beginning.
Back in Italy, I had no problems. I knew how to navigate the bureaucracy, I was familiar with how the classes were structured, and I had the advantage of having been through it all as a student myself. I felt confident in my ability to support my children in their education.
Moving abroad with kids: navigating school challenges in England
When we first moved to England, everything changed. Elisa started halfway through Year 2, coming from her final year of preschool in Italy. She didn’t know a word of English and hadn’t yet learned to read or write. I was extremely worried about how she would cope. However, within days of our arrival, she started school, and I made it a priority to meet with her teacher right away.
The teacher was incredibly kind, even though I probably seemed like a crazy woman who could barely speak her language. She reassured me, and for the first few months, while Marco was still at home because he was too young for school, I made it a point to stay in close contact with her. Every afternoon, I’d ask her about Elisa’s day, seeking advice on how I could help Elisa catch up without putting too much pressure on her. Elisa, on the other hand, was happy and carefree, going to school without a single complaint, and I was so relieved to see her adjusting well.
Getting involved: how volunteering helped me understand my children’s schooling abroad
When Marco finally started reception at 3 years old, I found myself with about three hours of free time each day. I decided to spend those hours at the school, offering to help wherever I could. I started volunteering, doing small tasks like photocopying and assisting teachers in the classrooms. The school was still fairly new when we arrived, as the area was just being developed, so there weren’t many students yet, but the teachers were welcoming, and I quickly integrated myself into the daily routine.
By being present at the school, I began to understand how things worked from the inside. I saw how the school days were structured, and what the teachers’ expectations were, and through these experiences, I started to feel more at ease. Volunteering allowed me to learn firsthand what the educational standards were and how the teaching methods differed from what I was used to in Italy.
Becoming a school Governor: deepening my involvement
Over time, my curiosity grew. I wanted to learn more about the bureaucracy behind the school system and how lessons were planned and executed. When a position for a volunteer school Governor opened up on the school board, I decided to apply – and I got the role.
As a Governor, I had the chance to be directly involved in decisions regarding the school’s budget, teacher interviews, and classroom visits to provide feedback. It was an incredibly interesting and engaging role, and it allowed me to understand the inner workings of the school at a much deeper level. It was the perfect position for me to gain insight into the school’s dynamics, and I truly enjoyed it.
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- 10 Reasons bilingual children have a life advantage: a personal journey
- The pros and cons of 3 school calendars: Italy, the UK, and Arizona compared
- 10 Tips for living abroad as an expat
Starting over in the U.S.
Then we moved to the United States, and once again, everything changed. I went back to volunteering, starting with my usual photocopying duties for the teachers. Shortly after, I was elected as a member of the PTO (Parent-Teacher Organization) at the elementary school where both Elisa (for a short time) and Marco attended. This was yet another way for me to be involved and gain insight into how the school operated.
I became a chaperone, assisted with art projects, and always found ways to contribute. Being part of the PTO and volunteering gave me a sense of control over a situation that often felt overwhelming. It helped calm my constant fear of not being good enough or failing my children because of my lack of understanding of the local systems.
Finding my place through involvement
By immersing myself in the schools – first in England and then in the U.S. – I was able to overcome many of my fears and anxieties. Volunteering not only allowed me to give back to the community but also helped me ensure that my children weren’t at a disadvantage.
I owe a heartfelt thank you to all the teachers and the pricipals we encountered on our journey. Your patience, understanding, and dedication made all the difference, not only for my children but also for me. You accepted me despite my struggles with language and helped me navigate through unfamiliar systems with kindness. Your support was instrumental in helping me feel confident and capable in my role as a parent abroad.
Being involved in my children’s education has always been important to me, but living abroad made it essential. Each new country presented its own set of challenges, but I found that by getting involved, asking questions, and being present, I could understand how things worked and, most importantly, provide my children with the support they needed.
Thanks for hanging out with me today!
See you next time.
Valentina
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