Learning a new language after the age of 30 can feel like a daunting task. Unlike children who seem to absorb languages effortlessly, adults often face challenges like ingrained habits, busy schedules, and the fear of making mistakes. I know this because I have lived it. Moving to England with my family, I found myself needing to truly learn English – beyond what I had learned in school – and it was harder than I thought. But it was also incredibly rewarding.
Here is what I learned, step by step.
1. Start by unlearning and relearning
If you, like me, have learned English in school but haven’t used it much since you’ll soon discover that there is a huge difference between textbook English and the real thing. When we first moved to England, I realized quickly that the English I had been taught in Italy was, frankly, not very useful in day-to-day conversations. Pronunciation was one of the first things I had to unlearn. Words that I thought I knew sounded completely different when spoken by native speakers, and I had to relearn how to pronounce even the simplest words.
My husband, Pietro, and I took private lessons specifically in pronunciation. We learned the specific sounds of English letters and words, which were quite different from what I had been taught. It was frustrating at first, but that is the reality of learning a new language as an adult: it starts with a lot of unlearning. The rules you have internalized, the pronunciation you thought was correct – it all needs to be reset. And that is okay! It is part of the process.
2. Immersion is your best friend
One of the most effective ways I found to improve my English was by surrounding myself with it. At home, I labeled everything – from the fridge to the light switches – with post-it notes. Reading those labels every day helped solidify the vocabulary in my mind. But immersion goes beyond just labeling things. It is about engaging with the language every day, in as many contexts as possible.
I remember feeling overwhelmed by the amount of new vocabulary, especially idiomatic expressions. In English, you can hear things like ‘It is raining cats and dogs’ or ‘Break a leg!’ which make no sense if you translate them literally.
In my head, I could imagine speaking perfect English, but once I tried to talk, it was a different story! I started reading out loud and using apps like Word Reference, which allowed me to check the pronunciation of words. It was also Pietro who encouraged me to stop translating everything word-for-word, which was a habit I developed when reading my first English book, Call the Midwife. This was a game-changer. By focusing on the meaning of whole sentences rather than individual words, I started to let the language flow more naturally.
Practicing with native speakers, reading, listening to the radio, and watching TV shows in English were all ways to immerse myself in the language. It wasn’t easy – especially because of the various accents in England! But after a while, I found that my brain was adjusting, and I was able to pick up on more and more of what people were saying.
3. Practice, practice, practice
There’s no shortcut here. The more you practice, the better you get. I can’t tell you how many times I have made mistakes – some embarrassing! Once, I was trying to say “beach” but pronounced it wrong, and it came out sounding like a completely different word! We laughed about it, but it was a reminder that practice is essential.
Every day, I made a point of practicing speaking out loud, even if it was just to myself. I used flashcards to practice not just vocabulary but phrases in context. It was important to me that I didn’t just know individual words but how to use them correctly in sentences.
I also practiced by reading out loud. It helped me with pronunciation, and it made me feel more confident when it came time to speak to other people. Confidence is key when learning a language.
4. Use media to expand your understanding
Watching TV shows, and movies, and listening to music in English was a game-changer. At first, it was overwhelming. I couldn’t keep up with the dialogue, and I felt discouraged. But over time, I noticed that I was starting to understand more and more. Shows like Friends were particularly helpful because the dialogue was relatively clear, and I could follow along with the characters’ interactions. By immersing myself in English media, I began to pick up on the rhythm of the language, the idioms, and the different ways English is spoken in various contexts.
Even reading became a new experience for me. I started reading English books more often than Italian ones. And when I read, I made sure to note any new words or phrases I came across and looked up their meanings. Over time, I found myself preferring to read in English, and I began to notice when translations didn’t quite capture the nuances of the original text.
5. Consistency and patience
Language learning doesn’t happen overnight, and the older you are, the more patient you have to be. I learned that consistency is everything. Every day, I practiced speaking, listening, and reading. Some days I felt like I was making progress, and other days it felt like I was back to square one. But I didn’t give up.
As a mother, I also found motivation in my children. Elisa and Marco, who were 5 and 2 when we moved to England, adapted to English so quickly. Watching them switch effortlessly between Italian and English pushed me to keep going. If they could do it, so could I!
Today, I speak English and still make mistakes in my pronunciation, but it is okay. People understand me, and I am no longer afraid of making mistakes. I have always been able to laugh at my errors and tried to learn from them. This mindset has helped me stay positive throughout my language-learning journey.
I have also learned to be patient with myself. There will always be words I don’t know, accents I struggle to understand, and moments where I feel insecure about my language skills. But I remind myself of how far I have come and the progress I have made. After all, I moved to another country and started from scratch, and now I can hold conversations, read, and even write in a language that once felt foreign to me.
Thanks for hanging out with me today!
See you next time.
Valentina
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