Trixy Life

When we moved to the United States seven years ago, Thanksgiving was a completely new experience for us. As an Italian, it wasn’t a holiday I had ever celebrated, so our first Thanksgiving felt more like an introduction to a tradition rather than a heartfelt ritual. Over the years, I have learned that this holiday is steeped in gratitude, reflection, and togetherness. However, I have also noticed that Thanksgiving can evoke a range of emotions, from gratitude to guilt, nostalgia, and even sadness.

In this post, I want to share my thoughts on Thanksgiving from the perspective of someone who adopted the tradition later in life, balancing gratitude with the realities of life’s imperfections.

Thanksgiving: a new tradition for an Italian expat

For many Americans, Thanksgiving is a cornerstone of family tradition. Stories, recipes, and rituals are passed down through generations, shaping each family’s unique take on the holiday. For me, however, Thanksgiving has always been more of an “outsider’s” experience. I haven’t grown up with its traditions or the expectations that come with it.

Our first Thanksgiving in the U.S. was a novelty – a bit like Christmas without the presents, yet still focused on gathering, food, and a sense of gratitude. Every year since, our celebration has been shaped by the kindness of friends who have invited us into their homes, making us feel part of their family.

While I have come to appreciate the essence of the holiday, I can’t help but feel a bit detached from it. Without the weight of tradition, I have had the freedom to observe Thanksgiving from a unique perspective: both its beauty and the pressure it can bring.

Practicing gratitude: a daily habit

One of the most beautiful aspects of Thanksgiving is its focus on gratitude. It is a time to pause, reflect, and appreciate what we have – not just in terms of material possessions but also the intangible: love, health, connection, and experiences.

Gratitude is something I practice every day. I keep a journal where I write three things I am grateful for each morning. This habit has taught me to find joy in the small, often overlooked moments – a smile from my children, a quiet walk, or even a perfectly brewed cup of coffee.

However, I understand that cultivating gratitude isn’t always easy. It’s not something that comes naturally to everyone. It takes effort, practice, and, above all, mindfulness. For those who are new to this idea, starting small can make all the difference. Write down one thing you are grateful for each day and watch how it changes your perspective.

5 Reasons why I keep a gratitude log (and why you should too)

The shadow side of gratitude

As much as Thanksgiving is about being grateful, it can also bring up feelings of guilt or inadequacy. Every year, I find myself asking questions like: “Am I doing enough? Should I host friends instead of always being a guest? Did I contribute enough to the meal?”

Then, there is the emotional weight of family dynamics. Some people can’t celebrate with their loved ones because of conflicts or distance. Personally, I often think about my family in Italy and feel a pang of guilt that we’re not together for this special day.

Even the simple act of indulging in a large Thanksgiving meal can leave some feeling guilty – whether for stepping out of a diet routine or simply overindulging. This duality of gratitude and guilt is natural, and I have come to realize it is okay to hold space for both. Life is full of ambivalence, and Thanksgiving is no exception.

Discovering Thanksgiving: a journey from Italy to the USA

Managing expectations

Thanksgiving often comes with high expectations – perfectly roasted turkey, flawless table settings, harmonious family gatherings. But life isn’t perfect, and neither are holidays. Sometimes, the turkey burns, family tensions arise, or the day just doesn’t feel as magical as we’d hoped.

I believe the key to enjoying Thanksgiving lies in letting go of perfection. Appreciate the messy, imperfect moments. These are often the ones we look back on with the most fondness. Lowering expectations can free us to embrace the day as it unfolds, without the pressure to make it picture-perfect.

Gratitude as a way of life: what Thanksgiving reminds us every year

Small steps toward gratitude and balance

If you are struggling to feel grateful or overwhelmed by guilt, here are a few tips I have found helpful:

1. Focus on the small things: gratitude doesn’t have to be grand. It can be as simple as appreciating the warmth of a hug, the laughter of friends, or the beauty of autumn leaves.

2. Be present: overthinking can steal the joy of the moment. Instead of worrying about what you didn’t do or what’s not perfect, focus on the here and now.

3. Practice self-compassion: It is okay to feel a mix of emotions during Thanksgiving. Allow yourself to feel gratitude, guilt, joy, and sadness without judgment.

4. Create new traditions: If traditional Thanksgiving feels out of reach, why not create your own version? A simple dinner with loved ones, a walk in the park, or a gratitude journal session can be just as meaningful.

Gratitude beyond Thanksgiving

While Thanksgiving is a dedicated day for gratitude, I believe it is something we should carry with us throughout the year. Incorporating gratitude into daily life – through journaling, mindfulness, or simply expressing thanks to those around us – can transform our perspective and bring more joy into our lives.

As I reflect on my own Thanksgiving experiences, I realize that the holiday is about more than just gratitude or a well-prepared meal. It is about connection – whether with family, friends, or even yourself.

Let’s embrace the messiness of life, the ambivalence of our emotions, and the beauty of imperfect moments. Because in the end, those moments are what make life meaningful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanks for hanging out with me today!

See you next time.

Valentina