Trixy Life

I met Pietro when I was 25, just coming out of a long-term relationship that I had truly believed in. We met through friends, and of course, the first thing that struck me was his appearance: tall, dark-haired, and those incredible blue eyes – wow!

We started hanging out in groups as friends for several months, and I remember trying every trick in the book to win him over. But Pietro was always reserved, while I have always been direct, with no filters. When we finally got together, few people believed in our relationship, mainly because our personalities were so different. People who knew us thought we wouldn’t last. But here we are, 23 years later, still together.

I often reflect on what our strengths are and what our weaknesses are. Our strengths lie in the common goals we have built over the years: starting a family, having children, traveling, and simply being together. We share a sense of adventure, a curiosity about the world around us, and a love for exploring new things. Two pillars of our relationship are communication and always being there for each other.

Our differences: a source of balance

Now, let’s talk about our differences:

• Pietro is precise; if he needs to measure something, he uses a tape measure and writes it down. I, on the other hand, use my hands, arms, and legs as makeshift rulers. I have to say, my method works too!
• Pietro remembers everything: bank account numbers, passwords, and important details. I, after two pregnancies, can barely remember my name. Passwords, in particular, are a nightmare for me. I have tried everything, but nothing works. I write them down on scraps of paper, lose them, and when I find them again, I have no idea what they mean.
• I love reading and writing, while he lives and breathes numbers. He genuinely enjoys them, understands them, and sees them in a way I never could. If it were up to me, math would be abolished!
• I talk and talk and talk some more. I share everything: doubts, joys, thoughts. Words are incredibly important to me. Pietro is reflective and always listens. He says my voice relaxes him. He thinks things through before making a decision.
• I am impulsive and get excited about my ideas, diving headfirst into everything. He examines things, takes his time to understand. He always tells me that I run while he walks when it comes to making decisions. Fortunately, we meet somewhere along the road and always find agreement.
• I am all about emotions, always paying attention to our kids’ feelings and everyone else’s. He is practical, he understands what needs to be done, and gets on with it while I’m still reflecting.
• Recipes? He follows them to the letter. Even after more than twenty years of making pasta, he still checks the recipe (100g of flour per egg). He is precise. Me? “I remember how to make it,” and off I go. I know how to make ragù; I don’t need to measure the exact amount of carrots.
• I choose our travel destinations, and he books the flights, the first night’s hotel, checks the documents, and handles all the necessary details.
• I am the air, the balloons that float freely, and he is my roots, my earth. I lift him, and he keeps me grounded, like in a perfect dance.
• He is a long-distance runner: steady, consistent, never giving up on a goal (he has been organizing all our photos from 2000 for three months now). I am a sprinter: I start strong and fast, but then I lose momentum and abandon the task.
• I am naïve; in my world, everyone is good, and no one cheats or wants to harm you. He’s aware and protective. He gets upset about my naïveté but comforts me when I suffer from the injustices of the world.

Finding balance and embracing grey

Before I met Pietro, my world was very black and white. I was either ecstatic or devastated, completely right or entirely wrong, and it often felt like I was in a constant battle between extremes. This way of living was exhausting and left me feeling unbalanced and unsettled. But with Pietro, I learned that there is a grey area, and not only does it exist, but it is also beautiful.

Pietro introduced me to the idea that life doesn’t have to be lived in extremes. He showed me that balance brings a kind of peace that I had never known before. With him, I discovered that it is okay not to be on one end of the spectrum all the time; that sometimes, the middle ground is where you find the most clarity and calm.

I used to be a fire, a true fire. I was filled with passion, but also with a kind of inner rage that consumed me from the inside out. My emotions were intense, often too intense, and I struggled to find emotional equilibrium. Pietro, with his steady nature, taught me that balance is not just important; it is essential. He helped me see that all the elements are necessary for a fulfilling life: the stability of earth, the lightness of air, and the emotional strength of water. Too much fire can burn and destroy, but now, with him, I am more grounded. I have learned to savor the moment and appreciate the steadiness that comes with balance.

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Learning to be myself

With Pietro, I have learned to be truly myself, without fear of judgment. Before, I often felt that I was too much: too loud, too passionate, too strange. But Pietro never saw me that way. For him, I have never been too much of anything; I am just enough, just as I am.

This acceptance has allowed me to embrace who I am and to be more confident in my skin. I no longer feel the need to tone myself down or hide certain parts of who I am. Instead, I can be fully, authentically Valentina, knowing that Pietro loves me for it.

The power of complementing each other

I realize that all these differences, which used to frustrate me in the early years, have become our greatest asset, our strength. Where I fall short, Pietro steps in, and we complement each other perfectly. Even with our children, where one of us may not excel, the other fills the gap. I am better with words, feelings, and emotions, while Pietro leads by example: steady, consistent, and practical.

Thanks for hanging out with me today!

See you next time.

Valentina