Moving away from family

Moving away from family is never easy. It is a choice filled with excitement, adventure, uncertainty, and, at times, a touch of guilt. It means leaving behind the comfort of familiar faces, the warmth of Thursday lunches at home, and the everyday interactions with family members.

For us, moving abroad was not something we were forced into. We chose it. We embraced it. And even though it came with sacrifices, I would make the same choice again.

My family

I come from a big, united, and somewhat patriarchal family. We are four siblings, and our parents’ home was the heart of everything. It was not just a house – a gathering place, a revolving door of family members, cousins, and friends.

When my children were born, my parents played an enormous role in their lives. Elisa, my firstborn, was the first grandchild, the first niece – the little princess of the family. My children were at my parents’ house every single day while I worked, growing up surrounded by grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. They were deeply loved, constantly cared for, and part of something bigger than just our little family unit.

Leaving that behind was one of the hardest parts of moving.

The decision to move

In 2012, we packed our lives into suitcases and moved to England. Elisa was five and a half, Marco was two and a half, and we were about to embark on an adventure that would change our lives forever. Five years later, in 2017, we did it all over again, this time moving to America.

Why did we leave behind the comfort of our families, the certainty of our daily routines, and the ease of having my parents just a short drive away?

Descriptive — *The day we saw and chose our future house in the Uk (02/2012)*

1. Giving our children the gift of true bilingualism

One of the biggest reasons we moved was language. We wanted our children to be truly bilingual, to speak English as native speakers, and to have the advantage of mastering a language that would open doors for them in life.

We could have stayed in Italy and sent them to English courses, but we knew that was not enough. Learning a language in a classroom is one thing; living it, breathing it, and making it a natural part of your identity is something entirely different.

Now, they speak Italian fluently, but their English is completely natural – no accents, no hesitation, no searching for words. Unlike me, who still carries a strong Italian accent and occasionally struggles with idioms, they navigate both languages effortlessly. That alone makes every sacrifice worth it.

2. The unstoppable desire for adventure

Since the beginning of our relationship, Pietro and I have always shared an insatiable curiosity about the world. We traveled every chance we had, embracing each trip as an adventure.

Even when the kids were little, we never stopped. During our summer holidays, we would pick a destination—whether it was Sicily, Greece, or wherever our curiosity led us – and for 3 weeks we would move from place to place. We slept in a tent, explored hidden beaches, and embraced every moment. For us, vacations were never just about relaxing; they were about discovery, adventure, and stepping outside our comfort zone.

At some point, short trips no longer felt like enough. We wanted more than just a taste of other cultures. We wanted to live them, to fully immerse ourselves. Moving abroad gave us that opportunity.

3. Escaping the routine

Life in Italy had become predictable. Wake up, work, drop the kids off at my parents’ house, have lunch, pick them up, do the grocery shopping, make dinner, repeat. Weekends were filled with the same activities, the same places, the same people.

There was nothing inherently wrong with it, but it felt like we were on autopilot. Life should not feel like a series of mechanical actions – it should feel alive.

Moving abroad shook everything up. Suddenly, we were in a new country, learning how to navigate unfamiliar systems, adapting to new customs, and building a different life from scratch. It was challenging, but it was also exhilarating.

4. Proving to ourselves that we could do it alone

Having my parents nearby was a blessing, but it also meant that we always had help. They were always there, ready to step in, ready to support us. They sacrificed their own time, and their own needs, to be there for my children.

While I will always be grateful for that, Pietro and I wanted to create our own family dynamics. We wanted to know that we could raise our kids on our own, that we could build something that was entirely ours. It was not about rejecting our roots -but seeing what we were capable of.

Was it the right decision? I do not know. But it was our decision.

5. The need to live, not just visit, different cultures

Traveling was never enough. Three weeks in a new country gave us just a taste, a glimpse, but we wanted to fully immerse ourselves in different cultures.

We wanted to wake up every day in a place where we were outsiders, where we had to adapt, learn, and grow. We wanted to build friendships with people from different backgrounds, learn customs firsthand, and truly understand life outside of our own culture.

6. Breaking free from the pre-drawn path

There is a certain comfort in following the life expected of you – stay in your hometown, work a stable job, raise your kids near your family. But we wanted to draw our path, not follow one already outlined for us.

We craved the adrenaline of the unknown, the thrill of stepping into something unpredictable.

Taking the leap

The decision to move happened quickly. Once we opened our minds to the idea, things fell into place at lightning speed. Within two weeks, Pietro had scheduled an interview for a job in England. Five days later, he flew over. Within three months, we had packed up our lives and moved.

Some might call it impulsive. I call it following our instincts.

The hardest part

For us, the move was an exciting challenge. For those we left behind, it was painful, and for that, I am truly sorry.

We see each other at least once a year. We spend a month in Italy every summer, and my parents visit for long periods. Thanks to video calls, they are still part of our daily lives. But it is not the same as being there in person, sharing the small, everyday moments. I talk to my mom every day, sometimes multiple times. That connection will always be there.

There are days when I feel pulled in two directions – between the life we have built and the responsibility I feel as a daughter and sister.

Do I miss them? Every single day.

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No regrets – just gratitude

Would I do it all over again? Yes. Without hesitation.

We have given our children a life filled with opportunities. We have shown them that the world is vast, but not scary. That life is a series of choices, and you are never stuck – you can always reinvent yourself.

I do not feel guilty or selfish for making these choices, because I believe life is meant to be lived fully, without regrets.

When nostalgia hits, I remind myself of why we did this. I remember that we are here, we are happy, and that voice inside me quiets down.

Feeling guilty would have only clouded the experience. It would have prevented me from fully embracing this journey. I could not afford to be torn between two worlds, not with two little children depending on me.

Moving abroad was not just about changing location – it was about embracing new possibilities. It was about choosing adventure over routine, growth over comfort, and curiosity over fear.

For anyone considering a move like this, my advice is simple: if it excites you, if it calls to you if you feel that pull – go for it. The world is big, and there is so much to explore. You can always find a way to stay connected with those you love. But do not let fear hold you back from creating the life you truly want.

Thank you for spending time with me today!

See you next time.

Valentina

Trixy Life